chilL'N TimE

Due to increasing products liability litigation, American liquor manufacturers have accepted FDA's suggestion that the following warning labels be placed immediately on all varities of alcohol containers:

• WARNING: The consumption of alcohol might leave you pondering what the hell happened to your bra and panties
• WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not.
• WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a retard.
• WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell your friends over and over again that you love them.
• WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you can sing.
• WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at four in the morning.
• WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically converse with members of the opposite sex without spitting.
• WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are toughter, smarter, faster, and better looking than most people.
• WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing WITH you.
• WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause pregnancy.
• WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may be a major facter in gettting your ass kicked.
• WARNING: the crumsumpten of alcahol may mack you tihnk you can tipe real gode.

Girls Night-Out.......................

Two women go out one week-end without their husbands. As they came back, right before dawn, both of them drunk, they felt the urge to pee.

They noticed the only place to stop was a cemetery. Scared and drunk, they decided to go there anyway.

The first one did not have anything to clean herself with, so she took off her panties and used them to clean herself and discarded them.

The second not finding anything either, thought "I'm not getting rid of my panties!" so she used the ribbon of a flower wreath to clean herself.

The morning after, the two husbands were talking to each other on the phone, and one say to the other:

"We have to be on the look-out, it seems that these two were up to no good last night, my wife came home without her panties."

The other one responded:

"You're lucky, mine came home with a card stuck to her ass that read, "We will never forget you."

These are CUTE bumpter-stickers that I like!

1. Jesus loves you.... but everyone else thinks your an asshole.
2. The proctologist called............ they found your head.
3. Everyone has a photographic memory......some just don't have any film.
4. Save up your breath....... you'll need it to blow up your date.
5. Your ridiculous little opinion has been noted.
6. I used to have a handle on life....... but it broke off.
7. Wanted: Meaningful overnight relationship.
8. Guys...... just because you have one, doesn't mean you have to be one.
9. Some people don't know how to drive...... I call these people "Everybody, but me."
10. Heart Attacks: God's revenge for eating his animal friends.
11. You don't like my driving?....... Then quit watching me.
12. If you can read this...... I can slam on my brakes and sue you.
13. Some people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them.
14. Try not to let your mind wander........It is too small and too fragile to be out by itself.
15. Hang up and drive!!!