I have discovered that loads of Filipino women, myself included have been caught unawares and have been shocked when they were refered to as gf or girlfriend by the foreign guys they date. I do not think it is a question of feelings, but rather a mismatch of the terminologies dating and gf from either or both parties. I understand that after a couple of dates and doing stuff together, loads of foreign people will start referring you as their girl or their gf. I do not think there is something wrong with that. It is merely the mind-set of the Western Civilization.
In the Philippines, courtship is a little bit different. Normally, you date for awhile. Then the guy will start courting the girl he wants to be his girlfriend. He tells her of his intentions. "You are beautiful as the mooon. The sun gets its light from your eyes. Your wild cascading hair is a joy to behold. I love you. Will you be my girlfriend?" The courtship can be a little crazy - the guy will bring his friends, a guitar and serenades the girl outside her house, the guy gives roses or small delicacies, writes love-letters to the girl, and some very determined guys even help with the house chores. This goes on for weeks or months depending on how interested the guy is. Some Filipinas wait for months before accepting the guy's love, before telling him that she loves him, that she wants to be her girl. Accepting the guy's love proposal too soon is considered cheap and in bad taste. The courtship longevity and intensity is a test to the guys and their intentions, carefully staged and watched by the girls.
Sometimes, us Filipinas are still caught off-guard when someone calls us their girl. Of course, we don't expect the guys we date to do the the whole nine yards of the Filipino dating scene, but we still get caught off-guard with the terminologies and we mostly call those we date as friends. It is noting personal really, but the term my man and boyfriend will take some time to get used to outside the Filipino dating context.
In the Philippines, courtship is a little bit different. Normally, you date for awhile. Then the guy will start courting the girl he wants to be his girlfriend. He tells her of his intentions. "You are beautiful as the mooon. The sun gets its light from your eyes. Your wild cascading hair is a joy to behold. I love you. Will you be my girlfriend?" The courtship can be a little crazy - the guy will bring his friends, a guitar and serenades the girl outside her house, the guy gives roses or small delicacies, writes love-letters to the girl, and some very determined guys even help with the house chores. This goes on for weeks or months depending on how interested the guy is. Some Filipinas wait for months before accepting the guy's love, before telling him that she loves him, that she wants to be her girl. Accepting the guy's love proposal too soon is considered cheap and in bad taste. The courtship longevity and intensity is a test to the guys and their intentions, carefully staged and watched by the girls.
Sometimes, us Filipinas are still caught off-guard when someone calls us their girl. Of course, we don't expect the guys we date to do the the whole nine yards of the Filipino dating scene, but we still get caught off-guard with the terminologies and we mostly call those we date as friends. It is noting personal really, but the term my man and boyfriend will take some time to get used to outside the Filipino dating context.
1 comment:
Very interesting regarding the courtship rituals.
From what I know of western culture, and the culture I grew up in, (very generally speaking) if the man asks and is turned down the first time, it is acceptable to ask again. Obviously not in the same breath, but to allow some time for "consideration". But to ask more than two times could be seen as "overly persistent" and annoying!
By the sounds of it the Filipino guy really has to do a lot of courtship work to get the lady!! world class dedication by those men.
Post a Comment